Affirmation
by Gimpy1
Summary: Spin on the eppy The Killing Game What if more happened in the holodeck then what we got to see? [C7] Now Finished...
1. Default Chapter

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Title: Affirmation

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Rating: R for very graphic content.

Summary: Set during and after "The Killing Game" - "What if something more happened in the holodecks then what we were shown?"

Dedications: To my girl Sherry for her love and her beta-ing skills.

P.S. My first Voyager fic so be gentle but somehow brash at the same time…okay??

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The thunderous sound of bombs exploding and gunfire resounded in her ears, sending round upon round of chills down her spine. The sound of war bombarded the small group of four huddled on the floor of the French club. Seven peered wearily at her counterparts. None of them were armed, their only advantage being her and Tuvok's superior strength. Turning to gaze at her captors sheathed in metallic armor, she absentmindedly noticed how they clashed against the early 19th century setting. Mentally shaking the thought from her mind, she stared down one of the weapon barrels and knew that even with her and Tuvok they stood no chance against the staggering and overpowering Hirogan.

Resigning herself to the obvious, her attention turned to a holographic Nazi officer as he began to complain of boredom. Disgust rolled through her as he tried to convince the Alpha Hirogan to kill her and the others. The Hirogan griped to his commanding officer over the comms before turning to the hologram.

Glaring tightly at the hologram, the Hirogan snapped, "Maybe you would enjoy some entertainment?"

The hologram's mouth opened to respond but was cut short as the Hirogan advanced on the group seated on the floor. Seven's whole body tensed as he grew close and an irrational fear swept through her. Tuvok sensed the change in her demeanor quickly and quirked a brow.

"You," he peered at Seven maliciously. "Sing." The demanding tone in his voice left no room for argument.

Seven's heartbeat quickened and for the first time since her separation from the collective she felt true, uninhibited fear sink to her very bones. The sensation confused her, the reasoning for it eluding her. True to form, she pushed the emotion back and ignored the Hirogan's tone, spewing back, "No."

Growing angrier, he almost growled, "You will sing or you will die." He pulled his holographic gun from its holster to emphasize his intent.

Pushing herself onto her feet, she squared her shoulders and stared him down, "Then I will die."

Tuvok jumped to his feet and, ever the man of reason, spoke, "Seven, you are a valued member of this crew, your death would be illogical."

Without breaking eye contact with the Hirogan, she claimed coldly, "Logic is irrelevant." Her stomach knotted but she ignored it. "The Borg will one day assimilate your species and when they do, think of me," she seethed. The Hirogan before her brought forth feelings she couldn't decipher. 

His face hardened at her impassioned speech. A snarl and a loud click of a cocking gun cracked through the stale air. As his finger started to tighten, both Tom and B'Elanna jumped to their feet.

Out of nowhere, the commanding Hirogan's voice came over the comms calling a cease-fire and just like it had started, it stopped. However reluctant, the Hirogan allowed his 'prey' to leave. Seven led the way out of the club, casting a quick glance back at the tyrant before stepping out into the night.

****

Pain seared through her arm, starting at the enhanced hand and cascading up her shoulder. Perched atop a bio-bed, she waited patiently as the Doctor tended to other wounded crewmembers. Though the cease-fire hadn't lasted long, they were once again back in control. Pulling her tender arm to her chest, her mind wondered back to the holodeck once more. With vivid detail she remembered the bullet pierce her flesh, shredding the metallic implants encased around her hand. She remembered the fire that spread torturously through her body as her Borg wiring was severed and she collided with the dirt-ridden floor. She felt the callused hands of the Hirogan as they pulled her roughly from the ground and dragged her away. The sound of a gun going off resonated in her mind once more as if it were happening in real time.

Squeezing her eyes shut, she re-watched 'his'body fall from the floors above. His limbs flailed as gravity did its job, propelling him toward his dusty demise. The same relief that swept over her at the very moment he rammed into the ground, washed over her again. It was unexplainable yet undeniable at the same time. Something started to overwhelm her senses and tear at her emotions. An itch at the corner of her eye made her snap them open. Raising her hand, she brushed at the corner. Pulling away, she ignored the wetness that lay on her fingertips.

"Seven?" the Doctor said as he approached her side, concerned.

"Doctor," she acknowledged him dryly. "I am in need of medical assistance."

"I know, sorry it took me so long," he apologized gently and guided her across the room to the main bio-bed.

She pulled herself onto the bed, allowing the Doctor to help. Soundlessly, the Doctor went to work scanning her wound.

"Lie down please," he ordered.

She obliged, gently lowering herself down.

"I'm going to have to inject you with a local anaesthetic to repair the wound," he advised softly, namely to himself. She just lay there and stared up at the ceiling, waiting for him to finish so she could get back to work and aid in rebuilding the ship. She felt the prick and frowned at the loss of sensation in her arm but let it pass. Time seemed to still as he worked at repairing the damage that the lead bullet had done.

"All done," he chirped. "I suggest you let it rest for a few days, but I know you won't listen so you're free to go back to work," he mumbled lightheartedly as Seven sat up.

"The ship is severely damaged, even if I wanted to... rest... I have work to do." 

"I understand, just take it easy," he assured her.

"Of course, thank you." Hesitating for a second, she started to leave.

"Seven," the Doctor called to her.

"Yes?" She paused before the door.

He stared at her, trying to gauge the look in her eyes. There was something hiding there though he wasn't quite sure what that was. "Just try to rest sooner than later."

She seemed to think about it for a moment before nodding and leaving the Sickbay.

****

Kathryn placed the cover back on the console she'd just repaired and sighed a breath of relief. Two weeks had passed since their encounter with the Hirogan and everyone was still hard at work making the necessary repairs. All of the corridors along with most of the extra holo-emitters were cleaned up. The holodecks were another story all together. Most of the senior staff and the engineering staff had been working nonstop just to fix the gaping hole that had exposed floors of the ship, some more literally then others. She watched as Seven lifted yet another piece of debris from the diminishing pile and placed it on a mobile crate. Wiping at her brow, she moved towards the weathered woman.

"Hey," she smiled warmly, lending a hand with a larger piece.

"Captain," was her sole reply.

Kathryn frowned. It seemed all she got from the woman was one word replies. If she didn't know Seven as well as she did, she'd have thought nothing of it, but she knew Seven and she knew something was wrong. Throwing caution to the wind, she asked, "How are you doing today?"

"I am unharmed."

Short and curt, again. "Are you really? Or is that just your standard response of the day?"

Placing the large piece on the crate, she turned to Kathryn with a quirked brow. "Captain?"

Sighing, she elaborated, "You just don't seem... unharmed."

"The last two weeks have been restless," she stated the fact, trying to detour the conversation.

"I know, it has been for all of us. It just seems to be hitting you a little harder then the rest." She once again tried to get Seven to open up but could tell the moment she opened her mouth she was getting nowhere.

"I apologize, I will do better."

"No, no. Seven it's okay to be feeling the way you do…"

Seven cut her off defensively. "I feel nothing," she stated matter-of-factly, lying through her teeth.

Kathryn rolled her eyes, "When's the last time you regenerated?"

There was a long pause before she admitted, "I have not."

Kathryn's eyes bugged out, "Tell me you don't mean you haven't since the Hirogan left?"

"That... is what I mean."

"Seven!" she cried, shaking her head. "Go. Now," she ordered.

"I cannot." Seven remained stoic, her face calm but her eyes gave her away.

Giving the younger woman a stern glare, Kathryn calmed herself a little and said, "We have more than enough hands around here to help. One less pair won't make that much of a difference."

Glancing down at the floor, Seven's head dropped and Kathryn's curiosity peeked.

"What is it?" Concern littered across her words and she took a small step closer to the somewhat distraught woman. It was unsettling for the Captain, having never seen her normally collected friend act in such a manor.

"I... have, as of yet, been unsuccessful," she confessed with a hint of embarrassment. "The Doctor recommended Chamomile Tea but it too was unsuccessful. He cannot find anything wrong with me, yet I am still unable to regenerate."

Kathryn listened silently and thought pensively before replying. "Have you tried to sleep?"

The suggestion seemed to disturb her even more. "I am Borg, I do not sleep."

Kathryn shook her head and bent down to pick up another piece of rubble. "You're more human then you'd like to admit, Seven."

Seven ignored the comment and continued to pick up debris and place it on the crate. 

Before she could, Kathryn grabbed her arm. "Go. If you can't sleep at least go eat something."

"I do not require nutrients," she rebuked defiantly. With a stern but gentle look from her Captain, she knew arguing would be futile. Unwillingly, she did as she was told, leaving the sanctuary and order that came with working. Mutely, she made her way down the halls. She never did get something to eat, instead making her way to Astrometrics.

Peering up at the black screen, she stared at the star chart. Their set course was a meager one, weaving around M class planets so as to defer from other civilizations. The condition Voyager was in made even the slightest possibility for conflict that much less desirable. It was a superstitious idea and in her mind an insufficient use of energy. But once again, her input was waved aside.

Anger, the one emotion she was truly comfortable with, coursed through her. Even with the ship in its hindered condition, she was still restricted from access to the major systems. Being forced to ask for permission was increasingly becoming a nuisance. Heaving a tempered sigh, her exhaustion started to make itself more prominent. A dizzy spell hit her hard and she stumbled into the console before her. Slipping to the floor, she allowed her legs to stretch out and leaned heavily against the wall under the console.

Her hand ached in waves spiraling up her arm and resonating in her temporal lobe. Never before had she felt this exhausted, this completely and utterly tired. The Captain's suggestion of sleep was starting to seem much more feasible from her spot on the floor and before she knew it her eyes fluttered shut and her body went lax, slipping to the floor. Sleep consumed her and opened her up to the world of dreams and nightmares.

****

TBC


	2. Ch 2

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Part 2

Silent swirls of smoke drifted by in a sleepy haze. It spread as far as her enhanced eyes could see as if it were in a perpetual stretch. It reached beyond her own yet she couldn't stop from raising her arms towards the enchanting vision. She watched, entranced as it seemed to respond to her touch, sleeking around the metallic implants on her hand. As it conformed and swerved around her hand, a chilly sensation chased its way down her arm.

She shivered and pulled back. As if angered by her movement, the smoke lifted, revealing its secrets. Focussing her eyes beyond the smoke, she saw two figures huddled in a crevasse encased in dirt and mud. Hushed, indecipherable whispers floated past her sensitive ears, forcing her to strain to understand them. The effort proved useless. Without cause or purpose her chest started to heave heavily—her heart pounding in her chest.

Movement caught her attention once again and she watched as the fuzzed forms were attacked from behind and above. She felt a weight on her shoulders as one of the figures was shoved to the ground by the overpowering weight of the newcomers. She felt hands grab at her throat, a vice-grip so strong that the air was forced from her lungs. Her hands flew to her neck, clawing at an invisible predator. As reality tugged at her consciousness, the last thing she felt was cold steel tear at her side, burrowing a whole in her flesh.

A distant scream pierced her mind. Her eyes snapped open and her body propelled away from the floor. Before she could counteract her initial momentum she slammed head on into the top of the console hanging above her. Wincing, the strain in her arm came flooding back to her, making her eyes sting again. Through her hazy vision, she searched the room wildly for the figures, the smoke, but there was nothing but the metal walls of the Astrometrics Bay. 

Breathing deeply she tried to compose herself as new unrelenting emotions rolled through her. The most prominent feelings, ones she'd become very familiar with in the last two weeks, were confusion and fear. On shaky and unstable legs, Seven stepped out from underneath the console. Leaning back on the edge, she breathed in a shaky breath, the first of many. 

****

"It's called dreaming, Seven. Or in this case, a nightmare," the Doctor chided gently as he finished his fifth scan of her cortical node. Each scan before showed nothing but the woman would not accept it.

"You are mistaken," she rebutted. "I do not dream nor do I have... nightmares. Your equipment is flawed."

Rolling his eyes, the Doctor placed his tricorder on his tray and turned back to Seven. "You've been through something very traumatic, Seven, it's bound to have affected you. You should be joyful."

Agitated, she snapped, "Joyful?"

"Yes," he exclaimed. "You've just experienced something immensely human. You're growing."

Frowning in malcontent, she pushed herself off the bio-bed. "If becoming human means being plagued by these... 'nightmares' then I do not wish to 'grow'."

"It's all part of being human, Seven. You fall in love, you get your heart broken. You have joyous dreams and, yes, sometimes horrible nightmares." He tried to explain it to her the best he could. He himself was still new to being, in so many words, 'human'. At the moment he found himself almost jealous of Seven's new found ability.

"I do not wish to dream. Nor do I wish to fall in love. You have been teaching me what it is to be human yet you yourself are no closer than I. You do not understand. Scan me again." she quipped back, her defensive nature taking control.

The Doctor visually flinched at the truth in her words. Bowing his head, he turned from her and walked towards his desk. Stopping in the threshold he called back, "Get out."

Shocked at her own reaction to him and his to her, she thought twice about complying. She wanted to apologize for her brashness but didn't know how. Giving up, she did as he asked and left quietly. As she made her way back to the holodeck, she mentally asked herself why she had been so cruel with her words. She was more mad at herself then him yet she couldn't help but let the words pour from her mouth. There was definitely something physically wrong with her and if the Doctor was unwilling to find it, she would do it on her own.

****

With long purposeful steps, Kathryn entered the almost complete holodeck. A smile spread across her face as she took in the now covered hole. It was seamless, perfection. Proud at how fast her crew worked, Janeway made her way towards the back of the room. Spotting Lieutenant Torres, she swerved in her direction, coming to a stop behind the woman.

She watched as B'Elanna continued to tinker with circuit of relays, unaware of her presence. "How's it going?" She stifled a laugh when B'Elanna jumped. "Catch you off guard did I?"

Blushing, B'Elanna rose from her bent position and turned to her Captain sheepishly. "Yeah... heh. It's going well. We're almost done actually." Peering at her, B'Elanna gave voice to her suspicions. "You didn't come all this way just to ask me that though did you?"

Kathryn's cheeks flushed with color, giving away her guilt. "That obvious?"

"Heh, not so much. I just know you too well," she teased.

Sighing, Kathryn's shoulders dropped visibly. "I need a favor."

Concern spread through B'Elanna as her Captain's demeanor quickly shifted gears. "Anything."

"A little while ago I sent Seven away... She hasn't been regenerating and even though I ordered her to eat I'm pretty sure she ignored me." The thought almost made Kathryn smile. Seven was far too strong willed for her own good, the trait was something she admired yet despised at the same time. "If she comes back I want you to do the same and send her away. She's not to come back 'til I'm confident that she's well rested... and why are you looking at me like that?" she asked as B'Elanna gave her a sheepish and almost guilty look which only grew at her question. Realization dawned on her and she let out a frustrated groan. "She's back already isn't she?"

"If you'd only come to me an hour sooner..." B'Elanna fumbled a bit but Kathryn cut her off.

"Where is she?"

"The Jefferies tubes on deck 11... we're trying to reroute the power relay conduits. The Hirogan messed them all up trying to reroute power to the extra holo-emitters. I sorta need her help." B'Elanna placed emphasis on the word 'need'. And she did need Seven, not two hours ago she sent everyone else home. Plus Seven was an expert when it came to things like this. She hated to admit it but she was almost better then herself.

Kathryn's eyes closed for a second before she spoke again. "When you're done, send her home. I don't care if she refuses, tell her I'm ordering her and she will comply or I will have her escorted by security."

"That's a little harsh for just being a workaholic."

"I know it looks like it but you don't know the trouble she's been giving me. I'm tired of her not listening to my orders."

B'Elanna smirked, "I guess Tom's old earth saying, 'be careful what you wish for' isn't just a saying."

Kathryn's brow furrowed at the unfamiliar words, "What do you mean?"

"I don't understand it that well but in this instance..." she paused, trying to find the right words to explain herself. "You're the one who disconnected her from the Collective and you've been teaching her how to be an individual from the start. Now she's trying to asserting herself and here you are pulling her back."

Kathryn quickly became defensive, "That's not what I'm trying to do. She's just got to learn that there are rules that she can't keep ignoring."

"Hey," B'Elanna raised her hands in mock defeat. "I'm not trying to overstep here. If I were in your position, I would more then likely do the same. What I am trying to say is the more you push her, the harder she's going to push back."

Silence fell over the room as Kathryn tried to wrap her mind around what B'Elanna had said. Was she being overly commanding or hypocritical? "What do you suggest I do?"

"Oh no. I don't give advice, I just analyze." B'Elanna turned back to her post and dropped to her knees. Picking up where she left off she gave a quick glance behind her and spoke, "Maybe you should talk to Chakotay."

"Maybe..." Kathryn trailed off.

****

Silently, Seven crawled her way through her last Jefferies tube. She'd started off on deck 11 and 5 hours later was seven floors down. The task was arduous, her body had only just started to protest at the strain of being on her hands and knees for so long. She ignored the pain like she did everything else. One thought fluttered though her mind, when she got out of here her knees were going to be severely imprinted, maybe even bruised.

B'Elanna's voice interrupted her jumbled thoughts. "Seven, have you reached the last conduit yet?"

"I have not," Seven almost snapped at the woman. She was fast becoming very irritated at the constant questioning. "I will inform you when I have."

"O-kay," B'Elanna mumbled, relaxing back against the wall beside her. Closing her eyes she allowed herself to rest for a split second before Seven's voice came over the comms.

"I apologize."

That got B'Elanna's attention and she sat up straighter. "For what?"

Within the Jefferies tube, Seven came to a stop before the conduit she'd been looking for. Pulling her tool kit ahead of her, she expanded. "For my irritability. I find myself unable to control that aspect."

Grinning gently, B'Elanna accepted the apology with a warm, "Don't worry about it, we all have our moments." 

"Indeed," she halfheartedly agreed. "I am at the conduit and am now removing the outer shell."

"Oh!" B'Elanna pushed herself onto her knees and turned back to the opened console on the wall. "Kay, ready here."

At her words, Seven waited for the small force field around the conduit to be disabled. She watched as a wall of light formed before the exposed wiring before disappearing. The two women quickly got to work relaying the power back to its origin point. A deafening silence drenched the confining walls of Seven's temporary prison, safe for the minute song of her hands at work. The tranquility itched its way beneath her hardened shell, disturbing the normally calm woman.

Wanting for something to fill the void, she didn't hesitate long before opening a comm back to B'Elanna and speaking. "Lieutenant Torres?" She listened for a reply as her own voice echoed softly away.

"Yeah?"

"I... wish to ask you a question of a personal nature," she stumbled, searching for the right words to express.

"Umm..." B'Elanna chuckled to herself. "Today must just be my day. Go ahead, ask."

Seven ignored the laugh, concentrating instead on the matter at hand. "Have you been enduring abstract hallucinations since our encounter with the Hirogan?"

B'Elanna's eyes widened slightly and a confused yet somehow amused grin flashed across her lips. "Abstract what now? Could you be a little less analytical and more... I dunno, dumb it down a bit, please."

"Nightmares... Have you been experiencing nightmare?"

"No, I haven't. Why, have you?"

"The Doctor seems to believe so," Seven admitted, turning back to the job at hand. She hadn't even noticed she'd stopped.

"Well have you?" B'Elanna didn't know the reason but Seven's would be answer intrigued her. Could Seven even have nightmares or dreams?

"I am uncertain. By definition a dream is a series of images, ideas, emotions, and sensation occurring involuntarily in the mind during certain stages of sleep. I experienced all of those conditions but I am still unsure."

B'Elanna was surprised by the slight touches of true emotion is the former Borg's voice. "Well it certainly sounds like you did. I thought you had to regenerate though."

"I do," she paused, quickly finishing with the last conduit and sending the signal to power it back up. "It has proven difficult."

B'Elanna sensed the vulnerability that came with Seven's words and tried to ease her with her own, "It's only natural I guess. Insomnia tends to run hand in hand with sever traumatic incidents." Receiving the transmission, she entered the command codes and watched as the power lights came back on.

The force field came back up with a flicker and Seven made haste of putting her equipment away. "I do not remember experiencing anything traumatic."

B'Elanna once again laughed at Seven's naivetes. "Maybe you are now, maybe that's what the nightmares are about... making you remember."

Seven stopped mid-stride along the small space and thought pensively to herself. Sighing softly, she responded, "Perhaps."

Pushing off the floor, B'Elanna brushed the dirt from her knees. Grabbing her things off the floor she headed for the exit and what was sure to be a very relaxing sonic shower. Before she left, she warmly called out, "Goodnight Seven."

"Sleep well Lieutenant Torres." Seven returned the gesture as best she could. Crawling slowly she made her way out of the Jefferies tube. The moment she stood, a wave of dizziness hit her once more. For a split second she believed she was going to collapse under her own weight. She didn't. Her vision cleared and the spell was washed away. Disregarding the feelings of pain, exhaustion and hunger, she headed off towards Astrometrics to waste away the next eight hours of almost complete silence.

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TBC


	3. Ch 3

Wow! I wasn't expecting FB… Seriously I wasn't but I'm really, really grateful. Thank you guys. Here's the next part and I'll post the fourth too cause this one's a little short. Again thank you.

~Gimpy~

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Part 3

Neelix watched, overjoyed at the turn out to his quickly slapped together party. After the repairs had been completed, he'd sensed the cloud of depression that had settled itself over Voyager and her crew. He'd observed his friends as they ate, noted the lack of luster in their eyes. The cause was well known, the cure a little more complicated but with the Captain's approval he'd orchestrated the get-together of the century. The dress was informal, the food extravagant and the company a little less then enthusiastic. At first no one showed but with a little probing from the commanding officer, the small Mess Hall was bustling with activity, even spilling out into the corridors.

The doors slid open once more and Neelix turned his attention to his new guest. "Commander!" he called out over the crowd and rounded the counter to greet Chakotay. "Glad you could make it."

Chakotay smiled warmly at the smaller man, "I don't think I had a choice but I'm glad I decided to come. Looks like quite the turnout."

Neelix chuckled, "You should have seen it an hour ago."

"That bad?"

"Sadly, but as you can see, I've more then filled my quota," he beamed. Reaching out he gently grasped the Commander's arm and pulled him further inside. "Here," he offered a Champaign glass to the man. "The senior staff is over in the corner."

Chakotay took the offered drink. "Thanks. Don't stay behind the counter all night, Neelix," he teased as he walked in the direction of the senior staff.

Shaking his head, Neelix chuckled silently to himself and set about preparing more food for the ever growing crowd.

****

Staring around the small table of higher ups, Tom silently thanked who ever allowed them to be here. Attack after attack this crew always seems to rise up. It was starting to become a joke amongst the lower ranks, something they bet on. Which species was gonna attack next? Which crewmember was gonna get captured? How long 'til we get into another mess? He had to admit to himself that he to was involved in the pools. He paused his train of thought long enough to listen to B'Elanna speaking next to him.

"Even with the holodecks repaired I'm pretty positive that no one's gonna be visiting them anytime soon."

The Captain nodded her head, "I'm surprised we even got the decks repaired as fast as we did."

"I'm not," B'Elanna countered. "I had Seven on my side."

"Speaking of our former Borg," Chakotay mused, turning to watch as Seven herself entered the room.

With her arms behind her back she calmly made her way to the table. Stopping at the end near Tom, she nodded in the Captain's Direction. "I am here." The disapproval at being forced to participate in this gathering was evident in her tone.

"I see that," Kathryn tried her best not to respond to the tone. "Have a seat, get something to eat," she offered.

Seven quickly declined, "I prefer to stand." In truth she didn't intend to stay for long. Though she longed for the noise and distraction she was sure to encounter, she also didn't want to be around all these people.

"Oh come on Seven," Tom stood up and grabbed a free chair from a side table. "Have a seat with us, we don't bite. Unless provoked." His tart attempt a humor earned him a jab in the side from B'Elanna.

Seven pretended to consider the offer before once again declining. "Thank you Mr. Paris but I must decline." She caught the look on Kathryn's face that told her the woman was about to protest. Quickly she formed a lie, "I have a prior engagement."

Kathryn and B'Elanna saw through the lie but neither voiced their suspicions. The two watched as Seven excused herself and made her way towards the other side of the room. She never lost sight of the door, weaving her way through the crowd. The sea of people seemed never-ending. They entrapped her, encircled her. Each time she weaved away from bodily contact with one, she ran into another. Her vision started to narrow and her heart beat rose. The room seemed to close in on her like a trap.

What she could only describe as claustrophobia descended upon her. Like an animal caught in a cage, she moved faster towards the exit, forcing her way through. Suddenly the crowd parted and her destination, her salvation came fully into view. All that stood between her and the door was the vast expanse of air. A slight pressure on her arm, a tug, hands restricting her. She acted instantaneously and without thought, ramming her foot down and connecting with flesh. The moment the hold loosened she acted, slamming her arm back. Her fist connected solidly with a nose. The hand dropped, a cry rang out and Seven swirled around to face her attacker.

Her eyes widened and her breathing became harsher. Neelix stood before her cradling his face. Blood slipped from between his fingers and dripped down his arm.

"Oh my god! Neelix are you alright?" Harry rushed to Neelix's side.

With wide and fearful eyes, Seven surveyed the room. All other eyes were trained on her, an array of emotion within them: fear, shock, uncertainty.

"Seven, why the hell did you do that?" Kathryn's angered voice barely resonated in Seven's mind.

"I..." she fumbled, taking a step back. "I... didn't... I didn't know... I apologize..." With each word she took another step until she was close enough to the door to make her escape. She dashed out the door and down the corridor. Her vision blurred, the walls becoming flashes of nothing. She ran as fast and far as she could. 

When the momentum became too much for her tired legs and her lungs could no longer take the strain, Seven finally stopped and turned into the nearest door. Unable to stop herself, she fell to her knees and crouched down close to the floor. Her throat constricted as soft sobs tried to make themselves known. She couldn't let them, couldn't allow herself to do something so utterly human. She forced the need back along with the tears. In a crumpled heap, she clutched at her sides and tried desperately to calm her hyperactive senses.

**TBC**

~Gimpy~


	4. Ch 4

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Part 4

Each foot tapped solidly with the carpeted floor, their place calculated, the intent behind them unsteady. Their owner tried once more to comprehend exactly how he'd gotten dragged into this. Mentally chuckling to himself he remembered Kathryn's exact words... "There are few people on this ship who she trusts and she's not talking to half of them. You just happen to be one she may still be willing to talk to."

Was it true? Maybe. Did he have a choice? Absolutely not. He wasn't even sure if he was the right guy to do this. In the amount of time she'd been aboard this ship he'd only spoken with her once or twice. Not exactly the best prerequisite for the task at hand. There was no use complaining about it now, especially seeing as his destination was rapidly coming closer. Letting out a frustrated sigh, he tried to imagine what the impending conversation was going to be like. 'Short, hopefully,' he thought to himself.

Titling his head, he gingerly read the lettering beside each door, counting them down. The words 'Cargo Bay 6' told him he didn't have much further to go. He could feel a knot form in his stomach when the six became a five and the five became a four. As three came into view he truly started to feel apprehensive. He was not the guy for this. He pondered about going back to Kathryn and telling her she had to find someone else, or do it herself. He didn't. He knew that Kathryn was right. The woman had simply started to ignore most people. In all honesty he probably wouldn't get her to open up but he had to try. It was the least he could do for her.

At last he arrived just outside Cargo Bay 2, Seven's makeshift quarters. Wavering for a split second he reached out and rang the proverbial doorbell. No one answered and he waited, ringing again.

****

Within the hollowed walls Seven's crumpled form jolted from its position on the floor next to her alcove. Lifting her head at the first ring she silently wished for the disturbance to go away. It didn't, the second chime quickly following the first.

Dread washed over her like a menacing waterfall. She knew they would come for her but had subconsciously hoped they wouldn't. Slowly she uncurled herself and struggled to stand. She managed and on unsteady legs moved to the center of the room. Turning to the door, she called out softly for the intruder to enter.

At her command, the doors slid open, taking their time to show who the intruder was. Shock waves rolled through her at the site before her. Quirking a brow, she curtly said, "Commander."

Her tone surprised Chakotay. Aside from the normal disdain there was a hint of something he couldn't quite place. Whatever it was it made her voice quiver and shined clearly in her blue eyes.

A sense of joy settled over Seven. It wasn't the captain, which was all that mattered. Placing her hands behind her back, she walked over to a console and started to work silently.

Her complete and utter dismissal of Chakotay shocked him. Stepping further into the room the doors slid shut behind him. "Seven?"

Peering up at him, she cocked her head, "Is there something I can do for you?"

"Uh, yeah... We need to talk." He treaded over his choice of words gingerly.

"Very well." She stepped away from the console to show the commander he had her full attention, "What is it you wish to discuss?" The question was faulty and unneeded, she knew why he was here, what he wanted to discuss. That didn't mean she was going to make it easy for him. She could sense his nervousness, his unwillingness to be here. Her time on the Star Ship Voyager had taught her a few things, one being that if you gave a human an excuse to get out of what they had to do they usually took it.

"I would think it'd be obvious, Seven."

Her will almost faltered when, unlike the others she'd deceived in this way, he persisted. The exterior façade she'd grown accustomed to bearing fell for a split second but it was long enough for the perceptive man to catch.

'So that's her game,' Chakotay mused mentally, her intentions dawning on him. She was turning out to be a lot more complex then the mindless drone he'd first thought to label her as. "Two words, Mess Hall." He stated the words simply with a stern gentleness to his voice. Hoping she would get the hint that he wasn't going to just walk away from this or from her, he moved closer to her. 

His actions seemed to perturb Seven and she took a pace back away from his advances. Her disinterested features hardened like an ageless rock. "It is interesting that the Captain sent you instead of cornering me herself as per usual."

If this was her attempt at agitating him, she was far off base. However Chakotay made the mental note never to enter into a full-fledged encounter with her. "Is that what you think I'm doing? Cornering you?"

"The reasoning for your presence here is to lecture me on my conduct and punish me accordingly, is it not?" She never allowed him to answer her question, instead tilting her head in her infamous superior like way. "You've chosen to do this in my quarters, my comfort zone. Thus you have cornered me in a most cowardly way that has been, up until now, the Captain's trademark. Congratulations, you've become just like her." A crude smile crossed her features when she was rewarded with the reaction she'd hoped for, anger. 

"Alright that's it!" Chakotay surprised himself as his voice raised. "I won't let you berate myself and the Captain. My *intentions* in coming here were simply to find out what was wrong with you..."

Quirking her metallic brow, Seven interrupted him, "If you are not here to punish me then LEAVE for I will not stand here and listen to you lecture me."

"GAH! I'm not here to do that either, Seven! God no wonder Kathryn sent me instead of her—you're practically intolerable."

Seven felt his words seep in as if they were blades of fire, stinging and burning at her control. She could feel new and old wounds open up and her eyes once again started to tingle. However this time she could not stop the tears from falling. Her loss of control shocked him, causing guilt to worm its way into his heart. Aside from the tears streaming down her face, nothing else about her features spoke of the pain burrowing within her.

Flaring her nose like a possessed viral animal, she seethed her anger. "I may be intolerable but these are my quarters so I suggest you leave before I..."

"Before what?" he snapped back, his anger almost matching her own. "You break my nose like you did Neelix's?" he ground out his words through severely clenched teeth.

She swallowed a thick lump in her throat and managed to squeak out her next few words. "I... I broke his nose?"

His anger subsided a little but his irritation was more than present in his demeanor and tone. "Yeah, you did. He's fine now if you even care."

She flinched at his snide comment and wiped blandly at the watery tracks marring her stoic face. Breathing in deeply she noted how strenuous the task had somehow managed to become. "I apologized for my lack of control, Commander. Please tell Neelix that I apologize for any damage I may have caused."

Skeptically he peered at her, unsure if she deserved to hear what he had to say. "I don't think you earned the right to know this but I made a promise to friend. Neelix wishes you to know that he's already forgiven you and he's not angry, though I have no idea why."

A sensation she could only dictate as relief eased the apprehension in her tensed figure. Bowing her head, she peered at the floor self-consciously. He may not have been angry at her before but he was now and she only had herself to blame.

The change in emotions rolling off this woman did not go unnoticed to Chakotay and he almost started to feel regret for his previous accusations, almost. Something she had said before came rushing back to him and he found himself unable to not question her on it. "You said you lacked control... Is that what happened in the Mess Hall?"

Her head only seemed to dip lower at his question. He saw her lips move but couldn't hear her words. On some level he didn't need to, he could visibly see her answer in the way her body arched in a pathetic slump. She had lost control. The only question was why.

"What happened back there Seven? Why did you lose control?"

"If I knew the answer, don't you think I would have tried to fix it?" What little confidence she had left in her slender frame seemed to seep out along with those words.

Never had he ever seen such desperation coming from this former Borg. Not even after they had disconnected her from the Collective. He found himself in awe of her, somehow in the past five minutes she'd managed to exert a full gamut of emotions from not only herself but from him as well. An inkling suspicion that there was something more she'd hadn't expressed to him surfaced.

He gave voice to his suspicions without recourse. "There's more isn't there?"

That made her react, her head snapped up but her shoulders remained slumped in a constant depression. "Yes, there is." She didn't disclose anymore and that irked him.

"Care to expand? I don't exactly read minds." His attempt at humor fell on more than deaf ears.

"I... experienced the symptoms of claustrophobia as I tried to exit the Mess Hall." She seemed to struggle with her admission. It was a fault, an imperfect wrinkle in the perfection she tried to maintain. When he said nothing, she hesitantly continued, "It seemed as if the walls were exponentially growing closer which is physically impossible. The air grew thicker, harder to breath. My vi... vision blurred." The more she explained the more difficult it became to continue but she pressed on, determined to finish what she had started. "The crewmembers around me seemed to be laughing at my expense and when I accidentally touched one of them my skin seemed to burn at contact. I became afraid and desperate to leave. It was then that Mr. Neelix grabbed my arm. At the time I did not know it was him and I... panicked. I never intended to do him harm." The tears attempted to return, brimming in her weeping blue eyes but they didn't. She wouldn't allow them to.

"He knows that and so do I," he spoke warmly, trying to soothe her.

She just nodded her head, not truly accepting his words to be truth but not dismissing them either. The slight jostle brought on another bout of dizziness that raked over her like a blanket of sandpaper. She stumbled just a step and her arm flew to her temple. Chakotay watched with growing concern, wondering whether he should step in to offer his help.

"Seven?"

She raised her hand to repel him off, "I don't need your assistance, I am fine."

"Are you sure?" 

"Yes," she ground out even when her vertigo worsened. 

He wasn't convinced and closed the proximity between them. She tried to retreat away from him but at that moment her weakened knees decided to give out. They buckled, causing waves of trembles to travel along her body. A shuddering breath left her lungs as her exhausted body started to descend towards the unmerciful floor. Warm arms encircled her miniscule waist and pulled her close to a warm body. Unwillingly, she leaned heavily on Chakotay and allowed him to lead her towards her alcove. Sitting them down at the base, he propped her up against the wall.

His comforting hand continued to rest on her shaking arm as he whispered, "Are you okay?"

Breathing deeply, she was only able to nod, any chance at forming words lost in her attempt to keep from throwing up. He couldn't help but roll his eyes while reaching for his comm badge and tapping it. "Chakotay to Sickbay."

Her eyes widened and she grabbed his arm gently. "No," there was a quiet desperation to her tone that he almost couldn't deny but he knew he had to. He stared deep into her eyes and saw the signs of hopelessness.

__

"This is the Doctor." 

The Doctor's voice broke through the silence but neither Chakotay nor Seven broke eye contact. She read the determination in his eyes and squeezed his arm a little harder. "Please," she whispered brashly.

Staring deeply into her eyes, he found himself giving in and shook his head. "Doctor could you hold on for a second?"

There was a pause before the Doctor responded, "Of course."

With that the transmission ended and the commander turned to Seven, making eye contact once more. With a stern look he asked her, "Give me one reason why I shouldn't tell the Doctor you practically fainted."

Seven's tongue slipped out of her mouth to wet her dry lips. "I am simply in need of nourishment, it's no reason to alarm the Doctor."

"You're gonna have to do better than that."

"I... do not wish to speak nor be near the Doctor. It would be awkward."

"Why?" he persisted.

She fidgeted underneath his penetrating glare and almost mutely told him, "The last time I spoke with the Doctor it did not end very well. We are at odds."

She watched as he considered what she had said for a few moments then tapped his badge once more. Stiffening, she waited for him to tell the Doctor what had happened but he never did; telling the Doctor that it was a false alarm and apologizing for bothering him instead. The tension that had practically frozen her melted away and she relaxed against the wall.

Chakotay didn't take his eyes off of her, concerned at her uncharacteristic behavior. The silence that descended upon the pair became almost unbearable for Chakotay and in a need to break it he started to sit up more. "Would you like me to get you something to eat?"

Without moving an inch she wistfully said, "That would be agreeable."

Chuckling, he stood and muttered lightheartedly, "That would be a yes." Peering over his shoulder he caught the slight smirk that graced her features. Smiling with pride at being able to create that reaction from her he walked across the room to the replicator. "Uh... Bran Muffin." That seemed nutritional enough. He wasn't exactly an expert on what Seven liked to eat. The muffin materialized in the small opened juncture. Grabbing it gently, he walked it over to Seven and passed it to her.

She accepted it almost gratefully and picked at it leisurely as if she had actually eaten something in the past few days, which she hadn't. Placing a morsel in her mouth she stared at the floor despondently. It saddened him to watch her feeling so low. Dropping back into the spot next to her silence once again filled the room.

Seven struggled to swallow the lumps of cake. Her throat was dry and the more she tried the more it seemed to hurt. Taking one last piece and forcing it down she placed the half-eaten muffin aside and folded her hands in her lap. It was then that she noticed how truly uncomfortable the air in the room had gotten.

Clearing his throat, Chakotay once again broke the silence. "So... you have no idea why you experienced what you did?"

"Lieutenant Torres seems to believe I am suffering from repressed memories."

"You talked to B'Elanna about this?" It was more of a statement of shock and amusement then a question.

"It was a momentary lack of judgement on my part. It has since passed." The look on her face may have been stoic but he heard the humor in her voice and laughed out loud.

"Was that a joke?"

Her implant brow rose mischievously and she responded in kind. "Perhaps."

"What made B'Elanna think you're having repressed memories?"

She stiffened a little more at his question and shifted away from him. "I... Explained to her the experience I had that made the Doctor believe I'd had a nightmare"

"Nightmare? I didn't know you could have nightmares." As soon as the words left his mouth he realized the implication they held. "I didn't mean that you're not human enough to... well uh what I meant was..."

"I am more than capable, Commander, even during regeneration." Seven quickly spoke to halt him from making even more of a fool of himself. She found it odd that humans tended to place themselves in such situations. "This was my first." 

A frown placated his features, "Kind of sucks that you're first dream was a nightmare."

"It is irrelevant."

Disbelief washed over him. Was she serious? He tried to read her face but it was pointless, her expressions never gave much away. "Dreaming is an essential part of being human."

"Irrelevant." There was that word again. He was really starting to hate that word. "My humanity has lead me to injure a fellow crewman, to lose vital regeneration time, become less efficient in my duties. I do not wish to be human."

Chakotay tried to conjure something to say to that, some way to change her mind with convincing words. There were none and he forced himself to let it slide. "Tell me about it?"

That got her attention away from the stale floor and back on him. How could he ask such a thing, not even the Doctor knew the details and she wasn't sure if she could. But when her eyes connected with his, she saw something that she hadn't seen in the Doctors. It was almost like sympathy but not. Could it be empathy? Whatever it was it made the idea of telling him more appealing. "I cannot."

"Why? It can't be that you don't remember cause we all know your memory is vast."

"That is correct," she admitted, mentally cursing her own memory. "I cannot because I don't want to remember." His gaze on her started to make her nervous and in an attempt to alleviate that feeling she uncertainly moved to stand. "I wish to terminate this conversation. I have work to complete."

"I can't force you to tell me Seven but we've got to do something about this." Chakotay followed her movement and came to stand beside her. "Maybe the Doctor can do some kind of regression..."

"NO!" Seven spat, swirling around to face him. "I will not allow the Doctor to do that again. The last time he did a man died."

Without thought the commander took at step back at her outburst. "Okay, okay. But there are other alternatives you could take."

"Explain," she commanded abruptly.

"Uh... Well, Tuvok. He might be able to do a mindmeld." He paused to gauge her expression and quickly noted her dislike of that idea. "There's also an ancient ritual my ancestors would perform to aid someone in discovering themselves, it's a vision quest of sorts."

"I am familiar with the Akoonah."

"Really? I'm surprised."

"I know many things about the different cultures on this ship. It has aided me in understanding some of the behavioral characteristics of this crew." 

Chakotay laughed at that. It was always about efficiency with her. "Would you be interested?"

She thought pensively for a few seconds. If, in doing this, she was able to regain control of herself it was more than worth it. A tinge of fear welled within her, a fear of facing the truth and all its demons. But fear was irrelevant, what was relevant was her getting back to peak proficiency. "Very well, you will aid me."

"Okay, I don't get off duty for a few more hours. I'll let you know when I'm ready. You'll need a few sentimental items to keep you grounded to this world," he explained.

Her brow rose at his words. "I don't have any such items. All that I own is in this room."

He let his eyes survey the contours of the aforementioned room and devised an idea. "Then I guess we'll have to do this here, if that's okay with you?"

"Yes."

It was then that he noticed her arms crossed behind her back. A sign to him that her stone covered walls were back up. She was closed off once more, stoic, blunt and herself. He found himself almost missing the fragile and vulnerable side of her. At least then she seemed human but now... She was exactly as she liked it—human body, Borg mind. Maybe what she'd said before about not wanting to be human wasn't just something brash she'd felt in the heat of the moment. Maybe she meant it. That thought saddened him. Her humanity had been stolen from her once and now that she had the will to get that back she just shunned the idea. She deserved to regain her identity.

Sighing he nodded and prepared himself to leave. "I'll let you know when I'm ready." Taking one last fleeting glance at the hardened curtain that had closed on the woman, he made his exit.

Fidgeting for a moment, Seven opened that curtain one last time. "Commander."

He stopped at his name falling from her lips and turned to gaze at her. He saw her emotions seep through the cracks in her wall. She did that for him.

"Thank you." Her voice was warm and tender, as was her expression but that quickly reverted and the moment was all but lost.

"You're welcome."

**TBC**

~Gimpy~


	5. Ch 5

Hey people,  
  
I am sorry for anything that seems out of place like the word "sucks" coming from Chakotay's lips lol. Just remember this is my first voyager and I am allowed a little leeway *smirks*. Here's the next part - don't hesitate to point anything out of place.  
  
~Gimpy~  


****

Part 5

With deaf ears, Kathryn listened as Tom and Harry had a heated discussion on god only knows what topic. She honestly couldn't have cared but she honed in on their voices, allowing them to pull her away from her current thoughts. The last thing she needed to do was over think the situation. Seven was in trouble, what kind of trouble she didn't know and she knew Seven didn't want her to know. But why? What was so bad that she didn't want her to find out? Rolling her eyes she realized she was doing exactly what she didn't want to be doing... obsessing.

Peering over at her pilot, she realized that he was on the verge of winning the slight argument he was having with his best friend, as per usual. At that moment, the entrance to the bridge decided to make itself known as it slid open and its visitor stepped out. Turning her whole body impatiently, Kathryn practically shot out of her chair.

Chakotay stared at Kathryn's questioning eyes and felt an incredible guilt build. He knew what she wanted but mostly he knew he couldn't tell her. Cocking her head towards her Ready Room made his lump of guilt grow. Sighing inwardly he followed her.

The second the door closed behind them, Kathryn turned to her first officer and practically jumped on him with her demand. "What happened?"

The urgency laced into her words caused him to involuntarily cringe. Bowing his head, he diverted his eyes and forced the words from his mouth. "I'm sorry Kathryn but..."

"Don't," she stopped him before he could finish, already knowing exactly what he was about to say. Slipping around her desk to her chair, she fell despondently into it. "Just tell me she's okay."

"She... she will be." It was the only answer he could give and she accepted it for reality.

Silence fell between the close friends as a new unsettling discomfort descended upon them. Neither one had any idea what to say, what to do except part ways. It was Chakotay who acted first, with a mute apology he left, retaking his post and leaving her behind to do what she didn't want... obsess. 

****

In the wake of her conversation with Chakotay, Seven had stayed where he'd left her. In the middle of Cargo Bay 2, staring blankly at her alcove with unresolved feelings. She checked her internal clock, which told her she still had three hours. Her thoughts fluttered towards her unfinished work, work that had gone unfinished for over a day, work she should have had done hours ago, work she was going to ignore once more. Stretching the already pinching nerve in her shoulder, she ventured up to her alcove.

Three hours was all she had. Three hours was better then nothing. Punching in the commands on the alcove panel, she moved up the small steps and stared. Resigning herself to at least attempting to regenerate once more she turned and stepped back into the alcove. She felt herself become one with the machine and let her eyes slip shut. Her mind slowly shut down, succumbing to the nothingness regeneration entailed.

Three hours, that's all she had, all she needed.

When her eyes opened, confusion swelled within her. The familiar and dark room came into view, light flickered onto her face, the walls, emanating from the large candle before her. She watched as its brilliance flashed across Chakotay's features, accenting them. Stepping away from the alcove, the monotone voice announced her consciousness.

"Regeneration Cycle Incomplete."

His head snapped up from his kneeled position before the candle and a smile crept across his face. "I hope I didn't wake you."

"You didn't," she replied curtly, moving to shutdown the alcove. "How long have you been there?"

He shrugged, "An hour or two."

"Why did you not wake me?" she asked softly as she made her way to him.

"You looked too peaceful." Staring up at her with warming eyes he smiled smoothly, "I figured I'd let you get as much regeneration as you could... which obviously wasn't that much."

"That was very... thoughtful of you." She couldn't help the slight flush under his stare.

"Hmm, well you're up now so..." he motioned to a vacant spot on the floor.

Staring at it for a moment, she accepted his offer and gingerly lowered herself before him and the small pile of instruments. She felt her body protest the movement and hoped desperately the pain didn't show but it did. He saw the flinch of pain register at the edge of her lips as they curved into a slight frown yet he let it go. She'd already bared so many of her weaknesses to him, the least he could do was allow her to keep this one.

Seven peered down at the oddities before her and silently pondered their meaning. Searching her memory, she labeled and categorized every little thing before her. The action released some of her anxiety, enough to shallow her breathing slightly. Chakotay watched as she seemed to calm down, just staring at what he'd brought. Taking a chance, he broke the silence with a soft cough.

"You ready?" he asked softly when she looked up at him. She hesitated, sucking in her bottom lip ever so slightly before releasing it.

"Yes."

Short, curt and to the point. That made him chuckle but only slightly. "Okay..." Gripping her hand he placed it on one of his machines, instructing her to clear her mind and concentrate solely on his voice. He was surprised when she did exactly what he asked without hesitation or question. He'd half expected her to at least falter but she didn't. Keeping one comforting hand on the devise and hers, he lifted the smooth native rock, sanded by the temper of water and etched by the collective hand of his people. 

With a soft whispery voice Chakotay started to chant in his native tongue, "Akoochi moya... We are far from the sacred places of our grandfathers... We are far from the bones of our people... But perhaps there is a powerful being who will embrace us and give us the answers we seek." He went over the words with precession so as not to mess up. As his voice started to grow he started to notice Seven's hand quivering beneath his.

Fear shot through her prone limbs, fear of the numbness that was gently taking hold of her mind, fear of what she was about to see. He could see it, could almost feel it rippling off her trembling form. He prepared to stop when he felt the trembling cease and watched as her already prone body stiffened. Her lips slowly parted and her head tilted skyward.

Seven felt herself being pulled back, away from Chakotay, from Cargo Bay 2, from her own body. Her muscles contracted, her breathing stilled and her mind raced. She could feel cool air wash over her skin and shivered, inhaled the stale smell of nicotine and cringed. Slowly, melodically, her mouth started to move in rhythm to an unvoiced song.

The movements captured Chakotay, his eyes watching religiously as her lips formed muted words, wrapping themselves around undistinguishable vowels. Entranced with the vision before him, he never even noticed himself being pulled deep into the void that she had entered. His own lids slid shut, his back stiffening.

Smoke wafted over him, followed with an odd warmth as a sultry voice spread itself over him like a feather blanket. 

__

"You sigh, the song begins, You speak and I hear violins... it's magic."

The words seemed to speak to solely him as they reached deep into his soul and claimed him as their own. Nothing else mattered to him but the voice. He had to see the creature that could create such magic. Opening his eyes she searched the dank lounge for the goddess. He filtered through the small crowd of equally entranced people listening intently to the songtress until he finally settled on the siren. Mouth agape, he took in the vision of flowing blonde hair, crystalline blue eyes and vivacious curves that swayed to the lethargic rhythm of the piano.

__

"The stars desert the skies, and rush to nestle in your eyes... it's magic." Slender hands gripped the microphone as if it were an extension of her fingers. Her seductive eyes permeated through the cigarette smoke, bearing down on her audience with an intensity that let everyone know the song she was singing was just for them.

__

"Without a golden wand or mystic charms..." He waited impatiently for her eyes to find their way to his. As the next verse flowed from her parted lips she settled her beautiful pearls onto his own, _"Fantastic things begin when I am in your arms..."_ She held the last note, staring deep into his eyes, a slight gleam twinkling within them.

He basked in her attention, despising the moment she'd shift and connect with someone else. Lowering a slender pale leg, she stepped down one single step, keeping eye contact with him, _"When we walk hand-in-hand, the world becomes a wonderland... it's magic."_

He felt his heart skip a beat when she descended another step towards him. The world around him seemed to close and he felt as if he was the only thing aside from her that mattered, they were the center of the universe. _"How else can I explain those rainbows when there isn't rain? It's magic."_

"Why..." Her tone deepened to a husky almost erotic place sending shivers down his spine. _"Do I tell myself... these things that happen are all really true..." _Shifting her hips to the music, she half danced the small distance to his corner table. _"When in my heart I know the magic... is my love for..." _Sliding up, she leaned over the table, her breath lingering on his face. _"Yo-ou." _Reaching out with her free hand, she brushed her finger under his chin, slightly tilting his head.

His breath literally caught in his throat and he flushed an even deeper red at her contact. Her voice fluttered over him so gently he could have sworn she'd kissed him. Her voice stopped and the music continued, filtering gently through the air. Pulling back, she moved fluidly off the table and swayed to the music. Her movements were reserved for him, provoking him in ways no strange woman should ever do but she managed. Turning, she swiveled herself closer and sang, _"It's magic..." _

Cupping his shoulder, she slipped it down his arm repeating, _"It's magic..."_

With that she was gone, swaying her way back to the stage to finish her song. _"Why do I tell myself... these things that happen are all really true..." _He watched, engulfed in her every movement as she placed the microphone back into its stand. _"When in my heart I know the magic... is my love... for..." _With a mischievous grin on her face, she rose her arm and pointed directly in his direction, _"you..."_

Just as fast as the song had begun, it ended. The music dimmed and the magical light that had shone on the entire room lifted. Applause wafted over the small-enclosed space, taking the place of the once burning seductress whom had tempted him undeniably. Bowing gracefully, the goddess wistfully thanked her audience and excused herself. With darkened eyes, he watched her weave her way off the stage.

As she made her way past one of the corner tables, a hand shot out and gripped her arm forcefully. He watched, perturbed, as she flinched under the Nazi officer's hardened grip.

"You will sing," the Nazi demanded, his commanding voice resounding across the room to his own ears. Immediately he wanted to stand and defend the woman who had managed to gain his favor.

"I am tired and it is late." Her own voice was just as domineering if not more so but it didn't faze the Commander.

"I do not care!" His fingers tightened and a slight whimper escaped her pensively lined lips. "You will sing."

"No, let go of my arm," she pleaded fearfully but her defiance only caused him to pull her to him forcefully.

"If you do not sing, I will..." He never got to finish his threat when the owner of the small lounge stepped in.

"Madame De Neuf is off for the night Commander. I apologize, though I must remind you that in my establishment, the war stays outside along with all violence. Remember?" The shorter woman spoke calmly but sternly.

Unwillingly, he loosened his grip on the beautiful singer and sat back in his seat. He never apologized, just glared as the two women walked towards the bar.

"Thank you, Katherine." Seven whispered softly to her employer.

With a gentle smile, she shrugged off her words. "As long as you're okay." Turning to the bartender, she ordered herself a whiskey straight up.

"I am... though it would seem he has been getting far more aggressive as the days progress," De Neuf reasoned to herself.

"I agree, you should take more precautions like I've suggested hundreds of times." Katherine once again tried to mother the younger woman.

With a roll of her eyes, Seven grabbed the drink Katherine had ordered and left for her changing room. Glancing out of the corner of her eye, she saw that the man she'd flirted with was still watching her and blushed. Perhaps she'd laid it on a little thick. Not that she didn't enjoy the attention… as long as it didn't turn sour like it had with the Commander.

Feeling the dark handsome eyes of the stranger bearing down on her back, she added an extra swing to her hips as she swiped aside the curtain that led to the backstage and disappeared behind them. Smirking at her own childishness, she made her way down the long dark corridor to the last door.

The door lay open and she pushed it further, taking in the crush velvet décor of her own private room. She loved the sexy and warm feelings this place gave her. Nothing else in this god forbidden town was as much hers as this place was. Stepping past her long lounging chair, she took a seat at her vanity. For a silent moment she scrutinized every flaw in her imperfect skin. It was a pointless past time but something inside her made her want to be perfect. Whatever that drive was, its hold on her was undeniable.

Shaking her head at herself, she bent down and undid the straps of her heals. She let them fall from her aching feet and savored the freedom with a contented sigh. Sitting up once more, she reached for her hairbrush. In mid-reach, she finally noticed the dark figure lingering behind her. A breath caught in her throat, fear forcing all air from her lungs.

"You're not supposed to be back here." Her voice quivered and she knew her words were fruitless but they were the only ones that came to mind.

Her heart froze when a malicious grin crept its way across his steeled features and terror consumed her as she watched, frozen when he closed the door, her only escape.

****

TBC

Only four parts left and then *poof* I may very well just disappear from the face of the earth - It's happened before… 


	6. Ch 6

Hey,

This part is pivotal to the whole story and I'm completely unnerved at the thought of posting it. It took alot of strength to write and it's major R for major things that you will soon discover...Don't hate me - just judge this fairly... Any comment is a good comment lol

*deep seeded sigh* here goes nothing...

~Gimpy~

****

****

Part 6

An animalistic panic gripped her soul, churning her stomach and causing bile to rise up. She registered the look in his eyes, saw the undaunted maliciousness he portrayed without recourse. His overbearing form moved closer and instinctively she jumped out of her seat and raised her hand towards him, a failed attempt to halt his advances.

"Stay back or I'll scream." The futile words dripped from her quivering lips.

His smirk grew, baring his unsightly teeth. "Do it. Scream," he crowed, advancing even further into the room. "Show me your fear."

Her breath caught involuntarily and her strength dwindled. Anxiety took over and she scampered to the other side of the room. Tears started to blur her frightened eyes but she never blinked them back, just watched as he flexed his muscles in a vain attempt to intimidate her.

Her body started to twitch, her knees going weak from trepidation. Her back pressed into the wall so hard she could feel bruises start to form on the delicate skin lying there. The overbearing Hirogan basked in the way his prey fell apart before him. His fingers itched to touch her, desire for the vixen had been growing for far too long. She was an acceptable prey gone to waste in this idiotic venture his commanding officer was forcing him and his men to endure.

What could it hurt to indulge himself just a little? The petite form before him was frail but easily mended. The Commandant didn't even have to know. It was that thought that made him grin even more. The thought of gaining what he'd wanted for so long, and getting away with it, was too much temptation to ignore. With eager need, he allowed his eyes to travel along her slender body. She was far too thin but her skin was smooth, a more then appealing aspect to a man with rough rigid skin of his own. The paleness of the half bared leg that slipped from her revealing gown irked him and he wondered what it would feel like under his callused hands.

A shudder of disgust withered through her as he took his precious time taking her in. If his intent hadn't been absolutely clear before, it was now and before she even had a chance to think about it, her lips parted, her lungs filled with tainted air and a loud ear piercing scream forced its way from her tiny body.

Squeezing her eyes closed, she screamed as loud as she could until her lungs burned desperately for air and she swore she was going to pass out. What met her ears next would haunt her for as long as she would remember. Along with her intrepid scream, a deep, all-encompassing laughter mingled in the void of blackness behind her closed lids. The scream faded and her eyes peeked open. In the middle of the room, the Hirogan stood, laughing buoyantly at her.

The sound rammed into her body and she felt her resolve once again dissipate with each chuckle that rolled from his mouth. This was a joke to him, a game and she knew now that she was going to lose.

Without warning, the Hirogan stopped mid-laugh and his arm shot out, his fingers wrapping firmly around her throat. He enjoyed the whimper that followed and jerked her closer to him. With his free hand he brushed at her hair almost charmingly. "Stupid woman... Did you think that was really going to work?"

Seven tried to speak but his large fingers prevented anything but a pathetic whimper from escaping her lips. Struggling, she linked her own fingers around his wrist and tried to pull him away as a single fresh tear broke down her cheek.

He watched the tear with a psychotic admiration before pulling her up off the ground. Dipping his head, he darted out his tongue and licked at the salty water droplet. A groan vibrated through him at the taste and he quickly grabbed her around the waist. Brash hardened lips descended on softer gentler protesting ones. Seven somehow managed to shove her arms between their bodies but it didn't matter. She was no match for the overly muscular monster.

Without conscious thought, she shot one hand up, curled her fingers and clawed at his face. She felt the skin break beneath her nails, heard him cry out and rejoiced when his hold loosened. Quickly that feeling flew away when she realized it wasn't enough. His hands tightened around her neck, constricting her ability to breathe. The corners of her eyes darkened as a lack of oxygen took hold of her mind and body.

She was losing the battle for consciousness and tried to fight it, knowing exactly what would happen if she passed out. In a fit of panic, she clawed again, over and over at his face, breaking and peeling at his skin. Finding his eyes she gouged, ripping at the soft flesh. He cried out once more and propelled her back, slamming her into the wall.

Her limp form hit the ground hard, hacking coughs tearing through her shoulders and chest as she tried to regain her breath. The Hirogan cradled his wounded appendage, blood dripping down his cheek and cascading to the carpeted floor. The thought of escape was fleeting to Seven as she was hit with the reality that her legs wouldn't respond to her mind. Trapped and incapacitated, she laid there, silently weeping like a traumatized child. Wisps of air tried desperately to reach her starved lungs as she gasped repeatedly.

****

"Damn it!" Chakotay cursed beneath his breath as he tried once more to break down the door before him. He'd seen the Nazi Commander enter, had listened with growing dread as a struggle could be heard seeping from the cracks of the offending piece of wood along with a heart stopping scream. Her scream.

Balling his fists, he slammed them into the door, envisioning it as the masochistic monster that could be brutalizing Seven right now. All of a sudden things went quiet inside the room and he stopped mid hit. His heart dropped the last few feet straight into his stomach. Silence could only mean one thing. He didn't understand how the hell he'd been pulled into Seven's vision quest, but he had become a part of this which meant he was going to do whatever it took to save her. In the back of his mind there was a fleeting thought that all of this was real, that this had all happened those few weeks ago.

No one had saved her then and he wasn't about to let it happen again. Grabbing hold of the doorknob, he stepped back, prepared himself, then rammed his shoulder straight into the door.

****

Through her whimpering cries, Seven heard a crack emanating from the door. Her heart pounded in her chest and ears. Someone was there, trying to get in. Sniffling back her tears, she moved quickly, swinging out her leg and colliding with her attacker's. It was unexpected and the large man stumbled to the ground beside her. It became a battle of strength as both Seven and the Hirogan fought for dominance.

His weight and power were too much for her and she soon found herself beneath his heavy, prone body. He pushed into her, slamming her shoulders into the ground with one arm. With the other, he backhanded her. Her neck snapped to the side with the force, her cheek brushing painfully with the floor. Once again, her vision swarmed and she cringed at the feel of the blood pouring from her bitten tongue.

Pushing down on her windpipe with his forearm, the Hirogan tore at her clothes with the other, peeling back the silvery dress from her shaking form. She wanted to stop him, push him away with her arms but they wouldn't respond to her commands. The only thing she could do was allow the tears to pour and struggle to breathe as he groped at her now exposed torso.

Turning her head to the door, she watched, tormented, as it seemed to bulge from his hinges every few seconds. Ignoring the man atop her, attempting to ravage her, she concentrated on the person trying to get in. She cursed the door as it continued to stand up to the beating it was receiving. A gasp fluttered from her lips as the Hirogan's cold hands made contact with her hip and began to pull at the garment.

__

'Oh god, please...Oh god...' She silently begged her savior to barge in and kill the monster that was on the verge of violating her in a way no man had ever done before. Taking from her the first sexual experience of her life.

A booming crack rebounded off the walls of the tiny space and a bright light from outside blinded her. She felt the man atop her freeze and turn to the door. What happened next she would never be able to tell you, except for that the weight atop her vanished and a few seconds later she was being covered in a blanket by the most beautiful man she'd ever seen.

****

When he finally managed to break in, the sight that greeted him caused bile to rise up into his throat. The Hirogan had Seven pinned beneath him, half-naked and trembling. Hatred boiled through his blood and he swiftly grabbed the Hirogan by his collar and tossed him across the room. The two men were both equally surprised at the strength Chakotay exuded.

The shock quickly passed and the two men were at each other's throats, throwing in punches. The Hirogan, already wounded by Seven, went down easily and, like magic, vanished into thin air. Breathless, Chakotay turned his attention back to the overly exposed woman lying unmoving on the bloodied ground. Making his way to her, he grabbed a blanket off a nearby chair and dropped to his knees beside her.

With tenderness he didn't know he possessed, he wrapped her up in the blanket and pulled her to his chest. Brushing at her hair, he called to her to open her eyes, whispering it was okay now, that he was gone.

Uncertainly, Seven did as the familiar voice asked and forced her eyes open. When she caught sight of his face, she lunged into his arms, the tears coming full force, racking through her whole body. He pulled her even closer, holding her as she trembled in his arms. She buried herself into his chest, her tears soaking his clothes.

Both were so intent on the other that neither of them noticed when, in a bright light, the dream world vanished much like the Hirogan had. In a crumpled heap on the floor in Cargo Bay 2, they continued to hold each other as Seven's tortured sobs filled the room.

A piece of Chakotay's heart broke off with each sob that emanated from the torn woman in his arms. The realism in this one earnest moment tore at him. What hurt more was the knowledge that what had happened was only slightly real. That in the real world no one had been there to save her. In all the time she was on this ship, this home, she'd spent it on her own, locked away in her Cargo Bay or in Astrometrics. She did it because she never needed companionship, it was obsolete, but the one time she desperately needed someone, there was nothing but her empty screams.

A scream so tortured, so primal it still hummed through his mind, shook him to his core. Peering down at the crown of blonde hair resting atop his chest, his soul withered for the pain she was feeling. Suddenly, Seven stiffened and her sobs became timid sniffles. Reluctantly, he let her go as she tried to sit up on her own.

He watched as she stared down at the floor, her cheeks flushing. With tentative hands, he leaned and lifted her chin. She adverted her gaze from his causing him to frown, though it didn't divert him from the task of gently brushing at the tears that now marred her pale cheeks.

A shudder rippled through her body at the all-empowering comfort he seemed to be able to exude with just one simple action. Turning, she connected her gaze with his and held it, trying to portray her gratefulness through that one look. He seemed to understand, offering a warm embrace for her to hide in. She declined, sliding back on the floor until her back rested against one of the cargo containers that riddled the room.

A groan slipped from her tensely pinched lips. An odd, sharp pain reverberated at the center of her legs and spread through out her entire body. It was new to her, something she'd never felt before.

"What is it?" Chakotay whispered softly, following her to lean against the container.

She couldn't look at him, an overbearing self-consciousness controlling her. "I am experiencing some pain."

"Where?" When she flushed at his question it dawned on him. The way she moved slowly, protective of her pelvis and stomach. A lump formed in his throat, one that he couldn't swallow and he wished he'd swallowed his question.

Still trembling uncontrollably, Seven racked over the events that had been shown in the vision. Analyzing and trying to bring logic to it all was a protective device she'd come accustomed to doing. A human habit that irked her but it was something she did without thought.

Chakotay kept his eyes on her, unable to look away. He knew he was being intrusive, just staring at her as she struggled for some semblance of normality. Dropping his gaze to her white clenched hands, he knew she was doing it just to keep them from shaking, unsuccessfully. Hesitating, he reached for them and peeled them apart. Entwining their hands, he cringed at how cold she was. She didn't seem to mind when he took one hand away, wrapped his arm around her shoulder and intertwined his fingers with her again; in fact she moved closer to him.

His own body heat vibrated off of him in waves, warmth she needed more then anything. He tried to be endearing, a solid stone of strength for her to lean on. A strange sensation flooded his being when she broke down again. Pride and something else he couldn't quite decipher. It was a profound feeling of being somehow honored that she allowed herself to be vulnerable in front of him. All her well garnered walls evaporated and she was simply Seven.

A broken, desolate and irreversibly tainted Seven. From now on nothing would ever be the same for her.

"How?" Her tiny devastated voice shocked him and he was at a loss for words. She didn't seem to mind as she continued. "How could that have happened without my knowing it?"

He closed his eyes at her question and sighed. "None of us know exactly what happened." The words were meaningless to her.

"No," she refused, unable to believe what he knew was true. "I would have been informed." Her eyes brimmed with tears, her pupils so dilated she looked insane with grief. "The Doctor would have repaired me... He would have found a way to tell me. He did not, thus it could not have happened."

"Seven..." He wanted to stop her from going down this path. "I wish so badly that it hadn't, but it did..."

Snapping her head up, she glared at him. "How can you be so sure? You said yourself that the Akoonah is a process and it's visions need to be analyzed after many sessions so one can fully understand what they are trying to say." He could tell she was becoming livid, unable to see reason where she normally would have found an overabundance of it.

"That's true, but this was different, you know that. I was pulled in, I saw it for myself. In all the vision quests I've been in, none of them were ever as clear as that was. You have to deal with this." He hated the words coming from his mouth almost as much as she did.

Disgusted with him, she sprung to her knees two feet away from him. Turning her angered glare to him, she spat, "Why? Why can't it be a lie?" She knew she sounded unstable, clinging to something that had no bearing. It was illogical, to her.

Tentatively, Chakotay moved onto his knees and inched slightly closer to her. "Because," he murmured, "You know better. You're a reasonable person Seven but if you need proof then I'll get it for you."

Puzzled, Seven followed his form as he stood and moved to the console situated in the center of the Cargo Bay. An inkling to follow pricked in the back of her mind but she couldn't trust her legs to carry her the distance. She resigned herself to sitting there in anticipation for the trick that he had up his sleeve.

Something Seven had said earlier prompted him as his nimble fingers flashed over the screen like lightning. In a matter of seconds, he found what he was looking for and frowned. To be right meant breaking the remnants of her soul but either way that was bound to happen.

Hanging his head he called to her, "There, come look for yourself."

A flustered heat brushed against her cheeks. "I don't think I can..." she admitted solemnly.

Without thought he crossed the room and bent down. Wrapping his arms around her torso he gently pulled her off the ground, catching her when she stumbled. Together they made their way to the console. With each step, Seven's heart picked up speed. Her ocular implant swiftly landed on the screen and divulged itself to the information it contained. The Doctor's memory banks sat plainly and boldly before her. Random squares of stored memories were gone, black voids taking their place. She lost herself in them, unable to see past them as she realized exactly why the Doctor had said nothing.

Self-hatred cornered Chakotay's already rampaging emotions and it grew as he watched her unfold even further. Without warning, she crumpled under her own weight, bringing the two of them down.

"I'm sorry... God I am so sorry," he knew he didn't have to apologize but he did, he couldn't help it.

Her breathing became labored as she attempted to regain a single molecule of composure. Convulsing in his arms, he felt her stomach churn and quickly leaned her over as bile rose in her throat, spewing from her quivering lips. He felt himself getting sick just watching her. Running his hand up and down her back, he tried to ease the pain as she continued to throw up until all she could do was dry heave. 

Her throat burned so intensely it felt as if it was on fire, her chest felt hollow, the feeling spreading through her shoulders. Concentrating on Chakotay's warming ministrations, she managed to calm the upheaval in her stomach. She leaned into his hand and groaned from pleasure and pain.

Tears pricked at the back of Chakotay's own eyes but he managed to hold them back, for her own sake, not his. It was getting far later then he ever thought it would. With his determination set in stone, nothing was going to shake it from him. Pulling her closer to his body, he spoke crisply into the stale air. "Computer, lock onto mine and Seven of Nine's comm signals and perform a sit to sit transport to my quarters."

If the woman in his arms had heard his commands, she never showed it, never even lifted her head when they were locked onto and transported onto the floor of Chakotay's dark quarters. Her silence was beginning to frighten him. She'd always been a silent person but it meant more now then just a characteristic. Her eyes never left the floor, wide and shrink-wrapped in tears that refused to fall and he was positive she'd fallen into the grasp of shocks frozen hands.

Doing the only thing he could, he slipped his arm under her knees and cautiously lifted her. It took major effort on his part just to stand but he won out. Through the dimly light room he knew by heart, he weaved his way deeper into the expanse.

Shifting a heavy foot around, he connected with the edge of his bed and gingerly knelt down onto it. With the weight of her prone form in his arms, he was forced to practically crawl to the head of the bed. Reaching his destination, he mindfully lowered Seven down. Intuitively she curled in on herself, like a cascading effect, her whole body shutting down.

To him she looked like a statue created to represent pure and utter sorrow. Forlorn, withdrawn, unmoving, she lay there peering at nothing. He wasn't sure how much more of this he could take. Being forced to watch with every passing second as she remained stoic, a blank canvas with a lack of color so violent it was disturbing. Heaving a heavily burdened breath, he did the only thing he could think off. Lowering himself next to her shivering form, he wrapped a loose arm around her side and held her ever so slightly that he could barely feel her but he knew that was the way it had to be. An inch closer, a tad tighter and she'd awake in a panic, kicking and screaming, believing she'd returned to the hell he'd accompanied her to not so long ago.

His body ached for sleep, even if for only a moment but he couldn't. Couldn't risk not being coherent if she snapped out of the spell she was under. It was a losing battle as his own body disobeyed him. He slipped into an uneasy slumber, tortured by his memories of the vision quest, of her screams and sobs.

It wasn't until he awoke that he realized he had fallen asleep against his own will. Staring up at ceiling of his quarters, the memories bombarded him. Grief clutched at his throat, weaving itself into a tiny ball of anguish. Rolling over, his heart jumped out his chest. She was gone, her form no longer taking up the space next to him.

"Computer, locate Seven of Nine!" he cried out, becoming anxious at the time it took for the computer to respond. A matter of seconds turned into a lifetime.

__

"Seven of Nine is in Commander Chakotay's quarters."

Dumbfounded, Chakotay scampered out of his bed and canvassed the room for her comm badge. Hoping beyond all hope that she hadn't left it here so she could disappear, he was relieved when it was nowhere in sight. It was a fleeting feeling when he realized there was the other room. Rounding the bed. he marched on heated feet to the entrance. Blonde hair radiated in the semi-darkened room, hunched undauntedly over a small computer screen on his lone coffee table.

Thanking god for small miracles, he inched his way into the room. Coming to a stand a few feet away from her, he cleared his throat. Her feverish hands stilled for a moment then returned to their task, flying across the keys speedily.

"Seven? What are you doing?" He didn't want to break the silence but his curiosity got the better of him.

She seemed to stiffen at his question before completely ignoring his presence. Moving closer, Chakotay stared down at the same screen her own eyes had been intent on for the last few hours. A sinking feeling hit him full force at what he saw. On one side of the screen were the Doctor's memory logs, its missing pieces still boldly staring back at him. On the other, some kind of algorithmic program designed to rebuild lost information.

As soon as her companion had succumbed to sleep, Seven had tried herself to follow. Unsuccessful, she found her way to this small computer, determined to disprove what she knew was truth. It had been hours now and what she'd found had the potential to send her even further into the spiral of depression she was already knee deep in.

Absentmindedly, she listened as Chakotay made his way to the couch beside her and sat down slowly. He remained quiet but she felt his eyes on her trying to gauge the thoughts rampaging through her head. Up until he'd awakened she'd felt almost sure of herself, confident in her ability to stay strong and in control. Now, with his eyes trained on her, obvious concern littered in the dark pools, she felt that confidence falter just enough for one single tear to break through and trickle down her pale, sallow cheek.

No words came from him, not even a sigh of pity for that lone tear and its hallowed path. She despised it, wanted to rip the isolated feelings to shreds and spread them along the floor so she could trample on them. 

"I...Had to know for sure." She didn't intend to say the words but they came anyway.

Chakotay said nothing, waiting for her to continue, knowing she'd have to. The normally reserved woman seemed to be starved for some kind of voice. If he responded, she'd lose her own nerve to express herself. The concept was not an easy one to realize about her. Now that he knew he was going to use it to his advantage.

It worked.

"I was able to retrieve most of the deleted files. They were damaged but... the meaning is intact..." A slight quiver in her voice, another tempered tear, she was past the point of caring. "They confir... confirm," the sentence stayed unfinished as her sobs thrashed her slender frame.

His own unsolicited tears made themselves known and he couldn't hold back any longer. Dropping to the floor next to her, he pulled her to him. He hated himself for being true, hated that she had to find out like this, hell he hated that it happened. Anger surged through him at the perverted actions of a pitiful excuse of an alien race.

There were no words to ease the sobs of this woman, no action that could mend what had been broken. Forced to sit there and do nothing went completely against his nature. He needed to take action, form a plan, aid in some way that would have results. He wished he could put her heart together again, seal it with a band-aid and kiss it better.

What shocked him the most was that she didn't want anything else but to be held as she cried. The gentle swirling circles he drew on her back with his hand seemed almost enough to calm her. It wasn't but it seemed it. When she did manage to calm herself, what she revealed to him next would haunt him for days on end.

"I wish to exact revenge." 

**TBC**


	7. Ch 7

Dear Readers,

To say it's been along time would be… well redundant. I had a surgery - nothing serious of course - but it decommissioned me for a few weeks. I'm back now and I have a part. It's short but the cliffhanger adds drama to the next part that will come someday tomorrow or the next day. 

Enjoy.

****

****

Part 7

Her words were callused, hard and stifled in the normal coldness yet the woman behind them was quivering, grasping at breaths and wiping at tears. The contrast that was Seven of Nine would never ever cease to amaze him.

"Excuse me?" The question was more out of shock then confusion.

"Revenge: inflict punishment in return for physical harm," she droned off the text book definition.

"I know what it means..." He was getting frustrated, searching for the right words that would stray her from these thoughts. Running a hand through his hair softly he turned more fully on the floor, forcing her to do the same with the gentle grip he still exuded on her. Facing each other, Chakotay brushed at a lone tear, letting its warmth swarm across his thumb. "Revenge isn't the way Seven. It's never the way." He tried to be soothing and domineering with his voice, unsure of his success. 

Like a cat she moved into his touch, reveling in the feel of it, but quickly snapped away at his words. "They have to pay for what they did..." 

The validity she tried to maintain in her voice was lost in the sea of uncertainty Chakotay could see visibly in her pale blue eyes. "I know you feel that way but it won't change what happened and it most certainly won't ease the pain you're feeling."

Shifting back, she rose in one solid fluidic motion, coming to a staggering height above him, forcing him to strain his neck. "Your knowledge is limited, you can't know for sure."

Now he remembered how stubborn she could be. If even a spark of an idea flashed inside her mind it stuck and nothing could sway her. "I know that if you do 'exact' revenge it won't have the effect you want."

"Human superstition. Ignorant human ideals," she muttered sarcastically to herself, roaming around his small quarters.

"Do you remember what I was before I became a member of this crew? What I still am?" He spoke sternly, pushing off the coffee table but not advancing on her. He realized now she needed her space, needed to mull through the thoughts blinding her mind.

Ambivalent, she didn't have to search her memory banks to know the answer to his question. "You were a member of the Maqui."

"Exactly. Do you know what the purpose of the Maqui was?"

She knew he was getting to some kind of point but couldn't decipher it. Nodding her head she waited for him to continue.

"My home world was all but destroyed by the Cardassians, as were most of the home worlds of all those in the Maqui. Our whole purpose was to exact revenge against them. So don't tell me I don't know anything about revenge." Seven almost felt guilty at the resentment and sadness that lingered in his tone. "It took over my life, hell it became my life."

Striding across the room to her now defensively poised form, he stared intently into her eyes. "I don't want that for you Seven. You don't want that. To lose most of your life for something that in the end is pointless."

Her gaze adverted from his and he almost believed he'd gotten through to her. "And what if you'd never come to the Delta Quadrant? You would still be fighting for what you believed in, would you not."

He hesitated before answering, knowing it was exactly what she was digging for. "Yes but..."

"Then, until my 'Delta Quadrant' comes, I too will fight for what I believe in." It was as simple as that and he knew it.

"You HAVE your 'Delta Quadrant' right here! Voyager!"

Shaking her head softly, she turned from him and walked to the side port window. The stars stared back at her, mocking her with their freedom to just exist, not plagued by humanity. Ringing her hands forcefully, she felt like using them to break the barrier between her and the vast expanse of vacuous, airless space. Maybe then she could be as the stars were, solemn in their just being a part of the universe, not a part of a Collective with all its complexities.

Bowing her head, she shivered at the cold contact of the glass on her pained forehead. "Perhaps you're right... What do I do then? Allow them to walk free?"

"I... don't have all the answers Seven. I wish I did."

She sensed the sincerity in his voice, a sincerity that punctured the roller coaster she called control. Dropping her shoulders, she leaned more heavily on the window. Closing her eyes she tried to suppress her emotions once again. In the last two weeks, especially in the last 24 hours of it, it seemed all she did was fight against her own burgeoning benevolence.

Gathering the fallen pieces of herself before Chakotay felt the need to intersect her personal space again, she moved away from the stars and their cruelty. Coming face to face with the man who without recourse had taken care of her and been there for her, she felt the threat of even more tears. "I wish to thank you but the words themselves seem inadequate."

He smiled, a soft endearing smile, then waved her off. "There's no need for thank yous Seven."

"I feel as if I should. You've done so much for me that it seems immoral to leave you with nothing in return." She found it hard, once again, to express what she was thinking and feeling but he understood.

"The fact that I did help is more then enough."

Pausing for a moment, Seven bridged the space between them. Staring deep into his eyes, she rose on the tips on her toes, leaning in until her feverish breath wisped across his cheeks. Gently, she allowed her lips to brush along his rough skin in a small, barely there kiss. Before she pulled away, she whispered a husky 'thank-you' into his ear.

He shuddered at the feeling of her lips and breath tickling his ear. Lost in the feeling, he never noticed Seven leave his quarters until it was too late. In a breath of fresh air she was gone, any trace of her being there nonexistent.

**TBC**


	8. Ch 8

Here's the next part. Five full pages of angst, drama, and a little humor. That's the good news. The bad being that there's only one part left. I hope you all enjoy.

~Gimpy~

****

****

Part 8

The tension on the bridge was so thick it was almost staunching. The crew looked to their Commanding Officers for a sign but the two of them sat in silence, each lost in their own unrelenting thoughts. The theme was the same-Seven; the content different. While Kathryn wondered what had happened between her and Chakotay, he couldn't stop reliving the vision, the moments afterwards... the kiss. 

'God the kiss,' he hummed inwardly. Mentally shaking his head, he turned his attention away from it. That didn't matter as much as her well being. Which was absolutely true but why couldn't he get past it? It had been so soft, so demure he almost couldn't believe it happened. Yet he knew deep down, all the way to his bones, that it had. He also knew he wanted it to happen again. Not now, she's too vulnerable for that and he was an honorable man. Still he was assaulted with the idea over and over again.

Kathryn on the other hand couldn't stop wondering. What had Chakotay and Seven shared? Was she okay? As the Captain of this ship she'd always prided herself on knowing all that was happening with every individual under her command. It made it hard to stay in the background, cloaked behind a curtain, unable to know the extent of it all. What made it even harder for her to comprehend was that her first officer, her best friend, her confidant was keeping it from her.

Turning, she peered at him out of the corner of her eye. She took note of the lines creasing their way into his forehead and the sides of his mouth. They'd always been there but their existence was made bold by the worry that was washing off of him in waves. She could feel it and wanted nothing more then to be a listening post for him. Dismissing the idea, she turned her attention to the view screen before her, nothing but stars whooshing past them. Bored, unnerved and irritated, she turned to her Tactical Officer.

"Anything of interest on sensors?" She desperately wished his answer would be a yes. Boredom was not the way she wanted to start off their first day on regular duty. 

Tuvok glanced down at his console then shook his head, "Nothing."

She cursed under her breath but it was loud enough for the rest of the grave crew to hear. Uncaring, she mentally prayed for some sort of distraction. A Borg ship sounded more enticing then sitting for the next eight or nine hours doing nothing. As if answering her prayers, a red alert sounded abruptly causing her to shoot out of her chair.

"Report!" she called out to whoever was quickest with the answer.

Harry Kim spoke out swiftly, "An unauthorized shuttle launch is in progress."

Chakotay's heart dropped straight into his stomach at Harry's words. Springing out of his own chair he practically ran to Harry's station. "Who is it?" he snapped.

"Umm..." The younger man scanned the small shuttlecraft, his eyes widening. "It's Seven."

"What!" Janeway practically had a heart attack. Livid, she turned to Tom. "Close the shuttle bay doors."

"It's too late, she's out."

"Hail her, now." Her words seethed forth from her clenched teeth.

Tom did as she asked, hailing the small craft. Waiting a moment, he turned back to his Captain. "She's not responding."

Grumbling, she spoke sternly, trying not to bark at her helmsmen. "Open a channel, all bandwidths."

"Aye." He did as she asked, casting an awkward look towards Chakotay. "Channel open."

A habitual hand ran through Chakotay's hair. How could he have just let her walk out of his quarters without making her promise? He should have seen it coming, should have known his words wouldn't have swayed her. Instead he allowed her one kiss to blind him. He wondered then and there if that had been the intent... he quickly dismissed the thought, Seven was not capable of deception like that.

"Seven!" Kathryn called out, breaking Chakotay's stream of thought. "Damn it Seven, answer me!"

"She is increasing her speed. Warp is eminent." Tuvok recited off the information gathering on the console before him.

Getting agitated Kathryn, stepped closer to the vid-screen, as if her proximity would enhance her ability to reach her pupil. "Shut down your engine and return to Voyager or I will open fire."

Chakotay's throat clenched at her words. Seven wasn't going to listen, he knew that much. As Kathryn tried once more to reach the former Borg, he made his way to an empty station. Silently, hoping not to alert the rest of the crew, he worked diligently to get the effect he was looking for. Chancing a glance at the Tactical/Security Officer, he realized he was catching on.

It was now or never. Taking one last look at the large view screen of Sevens departing shuttle he rammed his finger down on the last control. In a flash of bright blue light he vanished from the bridge of Voyager.

Silently Tuvok's brow rose. "Captain, the Commander has transported off of Voyager."

Momentarily taken away from the shuttle before her, she searched for her First Officer. "What the hell is going on!" she demanded when she couldn't catch sight of him.

"It would appear that the Commander transported himself onto the vessel," Tuvok stated the obvious.

"Get them back here." She turned back to stare at the view screen just in time to watch as the runaway vessel slipped into warp and vanished from view. Shocked into silence, all she could do was stand and stare. They were gone. Taking in a long slow breath to stop herself from going mad, she walked to Tom. "Mister Paris, find her ion trail, now."

"Uh..." he stuttered hesitantly. "I've already tried... there's nothing there. She must have masked it somehow."

That was the last straw for the now infuriated woman. "Find it, I don't care how long it takes, just find it... I'll be in my ready room." She didn't give anyone time to respond before she marched off the bridge. 

****

As Chakotay re-materialized inside the small craft, he was greeted with the sight of Seven, disheveled and shaking, hunched over the helm. He opened his mouth but quickly shut it when Seven erected a force field, blocking his path to her.

"You should not have come," her voice was soft, unsteady.

"Yeah well, you know me, never did like being out of the loop." His joke was ill-timed, landing on deaf unyielding ears.

She shook her head and repeated herself, "You should not have come."

"Then take me back." He knew she wouldn't but couldn't help himself.

"It is too late. I'm sorry." She quickly withdrew herself, concentrating solely on the task at hand. It became difficult to listen as he tried over and over again to start a conversation with her. The moment she'd left the safety and security of Voyager she knew he wouldn't let her go without a fight. The fact that he was here brought a small amount of relief and even more regret. Never had she intended for him to be caught up in this and now he would more then likely die with her as she searched the stark galaxy for her assailants.

It didn't take long for Chakotay to realize she wasn't going to talk to him. He didn't give up though, finding a less then comfortable spot on the floor as he talked. None of what he said was vital, or even relative to the situation. He couldn't tell you why he did it. It just seemed like the thing to do. 

Seven listened, not to the words but his voice, until she couldn't take it any longer. Silence was her passion, her comfort zone and he was breaking it. Setting the controls to autopilot, she swiveled around in her chair. Her incestuous glare stopped Chakotay mid-sentence.

"Why are you here?" she snapped.

"I'd think it were obvious Seven. I'm here to try and get stop you before you do something incredibly stupid but," he paused, flashing her a mischievous smile. "Mainly I'm here because there's no way in hell I was about to let you do this on your own."

A frown played across her lips, his answer angering her. "No matter what you say I'm going to go through with this." She spoke with a strange confidence but he knew she was still trying to convince herself and just nodded. "The possibilities of going back to Voyager alive are small." Again he just nodded his head. "Do you not care?"

A bitter laugh echoed throughout the relatively silent room. "Of course I care but not enough to leave you."

"Then you are a fool."

"Maybe I am but that was my choice."

"How can you sit there unnerved by the possibility of your own death?" Disbelief was written all over her saddened eyes.

"Because." Again an enigmatic smirk found its way onto his face. "I trust you to do the right thing."

"You're trust is misplaced," she murmured, turning back to the helm.

Crossing his arms across his chest, the smirk stayed etched onto his face. "I never misplace my trust."

His words forced a dark cloud to loom over her. At first she'd been more then willing to risk her life for what she wanted but now... she didn't think she could accept the idea of being responsible for his death as well. Second guesses shot through her mind like a wild fire. She started to wonder if it was worth his life along with her own. Somehow she managed to delude herself that it was his choice to come. He knew what he was getting himself into so it couldn't be her fault.

An hour passed in a shared muteness until Chakotay had to speak up. "What are you doing?"

A gasp of air flew out of her mouth, her body jumping. Closing her eyes, she composed herself before answering. "Scanning." One word, one simple and completely abrupt word.

"For the Hirogan?" It was a futile question.

"Yes." Annoyance filled her and again she tried to envision why she hadn't prevented him from beaming aboard.

Groaning, he shifted on the ground for a better position. "So what's your plan? Fly around until you find a trace of them?"

"Yes."

Rolling his eyes, he mentally cursed Seven's one worded responses then shifted gears. 'At least she's talking,' he told himself. The somber hush that had settled on them before had become inhabitable, almost madding even. 

"Kind of a half ass plan if you ask me." He knew exactly what kind of reaction he'd get from his words and wasn't disappointed.

"I never asked you!" Her bark was volatile but he knew better. She was getting defensive and defensive was a good thing.

"True..." Introspectively he hated himself for doing what he was about to do. "Though if you had asked me I probably could have come up with something a little better then blindly searching for nothing."

His words dug deep, creating a wake of fury and maliciousness. She swirled in her chair once more, shooting daggers in his direction with her glare. "Your opinion is irrelevant."

"You turned around so obviously it is relevant." His words remained impassive, his voice calm.

Her mouth opened and closed several times as she strived to find a suitable comeback. Coming up empty, her nose flared and something he could only determine as a snarl manifested from her tightly knit jaw. Unwillingly he found it undeniably adorable. He was really starting to hate how easily she could affect him. Regarding her with awe, he caught the glint of recognition. She was on to him.

If possible, her frown increased with disdain. "You are intentionally causing an argument. Why?"

Shrugging, he dryly spoke, keeping himself guarded. "I'm bored, hungry and it's nicer then the silence."

Her implant encased brow rose faintly and they both knew he was lying. "You are trying to distract me so Voyager has a chance to catch up." Quirking one side of her lips into a half smile, she blatantly broke that idea down with her next few words. "You're attempts have been wasted. Voyager will never be able to track us, I've made sure of that."

His throat constricted tightly as he tried to swallow her words. "What'd you do?"

"It was simple, I masked my ion trail. If they do find it, which I highly doubt, we will be long gone."

He cringed at how smug she was being. "Voyager and her crew are smart Seven. You should never underestimate them."

Ignoring him, she brought her attention back to the console. However smug she may have looked on the outside it was the exact opposite inside. Her heart was slowly breaking and fear was rising. Chakotay's presence was as perturbing as her own inability to truly make up her mind. Just him being here had made her feel less strained, more in control yet at the same time she was unraveling, losing herself and the idea she'd started off with.

Sighing at her backside, Chakotay slid further down the wall. Round one went to her but there was far more to come.

****

TBC


	9. Ch 9 the end

I'm really starting to love you guys for the wonderful feedback. I've gotten so much and I'm eternally grateful for it. I honestly didn't think I'd get that much. Especially when you take into the fact that this is my FIRST Voyager Fic. It's also great to know that I haven't butchered the characters too much, though that's ideal may change after this, finale, chapter. Tell me the truth if I ended this okay. I need to know cause you know what? I may just revise it or even add on to it. Extra chapters = incentive for feedback?? You be the judge hehe.

Anyway enough of my blabbering - I know if I were you guys I'd wanna get straight to the good stuff so feel free to bypass this and go straight to the story. Though don't forget - this has been a burden of love and hate and it holds a special place close to my heart. Lack of feedback may just break my heart… Okay enough! Go read and enjoy.

~Gimpy~ 

[a.k.a. Danielle]

p.s. Recognize the beginning? You will if you're a sap heh.

****

****

Part 9

"I'm Henry the 8th I am, Henry the 8th I am, I am. I got married to the widow next door, she's been married seven times before. And every one was a Henry, HENRY! She wouldn't have a Willy or a Sam, I'm her 8th old man Henry, Henry the 8th I am!" Chakotay belted out the words brashly. He'd been singing the song for at least half an hour and was starting to forget the words but pushed on. He could he see it wearing on Seven, her tolerance quickly growing shorter by the vowel.

"Second verse! Same as the first! I'm Henry the 8th I am, Henry the 8th I am, I am," he added his best version of a British accent, knowing that any minute now Seven would break.

True to form, she did, in a booming thunderous voice. "Enough! You irritating, insolent, brutish barbarian!"

"Getting to you, am I?"

She was seething again and turned to face him. "Not only is that song an atrocity to all musical compositions but you can NOT sing."

"Aww come on, I wasn't that bad."

She chuckled bitterly, "I've heard speeches from the Doctor that were better."

He flinched mockingly, "Now that's just cruel."

"And correct." Abruptly her voice dropped to a soft despondent whisper. "Why do you insist on aggravating me? If this was your sole purpose in coming here, then why?"

"It wasn't but it seems to be the only way I can get a response out of you." Chakotay followed her actions, dropping his own voice. "You sit there and you search for something I don't want you to find. What else can I do but try and take your attention away from it. And if I have to sing a song and lose any pride I have left at the same time to get it, then that's what I'm going to do. Simple as that."

Turning half way in her chair, she set the controls on auto. Taking a stand she walked to the force field that separated them. He stared up at her, unbeknown to her intent. With delicate unshielded eyes she held his gaze, dropping to her knees before him. She had an uncompromising air about her that told him this was his moment to state his case, that she would listen to him and truthfully think about what he had to say.

"Tell me, honestly, why." In that moment she seemed as human as everyone else, her implants nothing but accessories adorning her ashen face.

"You know why..." It was his turn to shy away from the conversation as she had so many times before.

"I want to hear you say it."

Dropping his gaze to the floor then back again, he muddled through the thoughts in his head, trying to pinpoint the ones he wanted to voice. "I watched you go from being cool and calm, so sure of yourself, to suddenly transforming into a small, vulnerable child stuck in a grown woman's body. I saw you fall to pieces in my arms. You showed me something that no one else has ever had the privilege to witness." Getting to his own knees, he tried to reach for her and quickly snapped his arm back when he came into contact with the painful field.

She winced along with him and quickly called to the computer to shut the intrusive field off. Chakotay rewarded her with a tempting smile that warmed her skin. Unhindered by the now vacant wall, he diligently closed the space between them.

With growing confidence, he brushed a stray hair from her face. Instinctively her head dipped to the ground, her cheeks flushing a bright red. The mere action itself bewitched him to her. Sliding comforting fingers under her downcast chin, he lifted her head until her eyes connected once more with his own. "I saw the real you. No inhibitions, no stone walls to hide behind. Just you... nothing in my lifetime has ever felt so honest and so pure as that did. You have no idea how honored I was to be the one to hold you when you cried. Did you truthfully think I could just walk away from you after that?"

By the end of his impassioned speech tears had already started to brim, a few slipping down her now severely flushed cheeks. She didn't acknowledge their presence, allowing Chakotay to capture them with his more than eager thumb.

"Someone has to pay..." she breathed out the words, any chance at forming more coherent phrases lost in the upheaval.

"Don't you think you've beaten yourself up enough?" His hand reattached itself to her cheek. 

"It hurts... I hurt..." A quiver formed in her throat, weakening her ability to speak clearly.

"And you want them to hurt like you... I understand that but it won't help." The voice of reason seemed bitter to him and callous to her.

"Why me? Why did it have to be me?" The words sounded pathetic to her ears but she didn't have the strength to care.

No words in any language could answer her question, leaving him speechless. Unable to withhold any longer, he pulled her too him. She conformed to his body, the action so comfortable, so natural, it was as if she'd been doing it all her life. The tears spilled from her almost depleted body until there was nothing left but an ever-growing emptiness. A permanent hole tattooed itself onto her soul, never to be erased. Her innocence had been torn away from her once again. She was child again, naked, cold, huddled in a corner, weeping for that which was now lost. No amount of tears would bring it back. And she realized with trepidation that even vengeance would amount to nothing. She was now and forever would be, the little lost girl.

Seven felt depression's calloused hands grasp at her, trying to pull her under and clung tighter to Chakotay. Somehow, in just a matter of hours, he'd become her buoy, her lifeline. They'd gone from barely knowing each other to intertwining in an intimate embrace. She never wanted to leave the serenity his muscular arms provided. 

Slowly she realized that when this was all over, and they were back on Voyager, she'd never experience these arms or the comfort they exuded again. She withdrew from him a little and gazed into his questioning eyes.

"I want to go back now."

"You sure?" 

Unable or maybe just unwilling to speak, she simply nodded her head. Giving her a warm smirk and a reassuring squeeze on the arm he reluctantly pulled himself off the floor. From his advantage point he watched as Seven stayed seated on the ground. She stared at her now vacant hands, wondering it they'd ever feel his again. Her gaze was adverted when one of his hands slowly intruded on her vision. It was an offering. For help, not only now, but whenever she needed it and she eagerly accepted it.

Pulling her up easily, he quickly informed her, "I'll take helm, you can rest."

Again she nodded and allowed him to walk around her. Her arm shot out, constricting around his wrist and preventing him from walking further away. Puzzled, he marveled in how sultry she looked as she slid herself closer to him. He witnessed a hesitation in her eyes before she wrapped her arms around his neck and held tight. The embrace was a lasting one, both of them holding on tightly to the other. Seven pulled back first just so she could see his face. Entranced, all he could manage to do was watch as she leaned in and kissed him for a second time.

This time was different then the last. He felt her velvety lips sprawl against his own and move ever so slightly. It wasn't chaste by any means but it also wasn't deep or prolonged. For him it ended too soon and he lost her again.

Dumbstruck he focused on the feelings tickling his unnerved lips. "What was that for?"

A giggle vibrated through the slender woman before him, followed by a bashful smile. "When we get back to Voyager things are going to change. I wanted to experience that before I lost the chance."

"You're right, things will be different but believe me when I say that you will always be able to come to me for a simple hug or an able bodied listener... always. Now come on," he rapidly changed the subject, gripping her elbow and pulling her towards the two lone chairs at the shuttlecraft's helm. "I drive, you relax." He emphasized his words by moving her in the direction of the as yet unused chair.

Lowering herself into it, she instinctively pulled her legs up to her chest. There she remained for most of the journey back, unmoving, unvocal, and at some point unconscious. 

In the end, both of their predictions came true. Things went back to at least a semblance of normality for the both of them. After awhile everyone forgot about Seven decking Neelix and then a day or so later stealing a shuttlecraft. To everyone she was the same former Borg drone that had always been there; quiet and introspective. To Chakotay she was something more than that. He could see her shy away from social functions even more then she used to, knew she wasn't being quiet out of nature but fear. 

He'd lost track of how many times he'd had to divert the captain from interrogating her, stating that if Seven wanted her to know she would tell her on her own. It was a lie, both he and Seven knew they were never going to tell the Captain. It was their secret and neither one wanted to lose the connection it had somehow formed between them.

Chakotay's end of the bargain held up too. Seven had become prone to panic attacks at odd times, after staff meetings, before duty shifts. Every time all she had to do was find him and he was there, be it to listen to her or give her a comforting hug while whispering it would be okay. Overtime she learned that no matter what the time, she was always more than welcome to wake him up after a nightmare.

All but one thing remained true to form for the now odd couple. Months later, in the wake of a terrifying nightmare that was not her own, Seven had the chance to kiss her savior once more. She never took it, safe in the knowledge that a chance would come again someday and when it did there would be no hesitation, no second-guesses, just her, him and nothing else.

****

La Fin


End file.
